hyper

i am hyper aware
of this flow
of my surroundings
my thoughts
my feelings - and the detachment from them
sometimes, I wish it would just go away....
i wish the awareness would pause expansion...
but that's a selfish wish, an ego wish, ego trap, disease...
fear.
and i'm aware of that.
but i feel this darkness,
i see it, i can touch it, and taste it.
i'ts bitter, like the hops i like to drink.

there is so much inside of me.. what am i tryin to say?

I am here. and i do not want to listen to what the darkness has to say about me anymore.
let.go.
i thought that is was what i was doing...
is it happening?
IS IT HAPPENING?
IS IT fucking happening??

HOW can one be so aware..

am i downloading?
activated, under stars in Massachusetts.

what did i do wrong, along the way?
it feels like there was something...... is it me? is that just my role? the lost one... saved by the wolf. everything happens for a reason....  my girlfriend has that tattooed on her....

do you know what is happening?
is this....
thoughts come and go.

i can hear them.
they are me
i can hear myself, in other places.
it's al me. my connection to spirit, source, the everything, infinite, dualistic, triad,  infinite miracles.

i did everything the best that i could...
Caitlyn talks about entities that want bodies
they take advantage of your weak moments..... they feed on negative energy
take control, find balance, feel peace.

i think we all feel things that we aren't prepared for.
even the awareness of my awareness that feelings are only the mind, that is a feeling that i am certainly not prepared for. but i am learning.